Scattered Thoughts

There is so much to see and so much to do and we have so little time to say the things that we feel but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m still here in this metamorphic bubble of existence and I cannot quite figure out what the hell I am doing or how to get out of it.

You might be at a phase of life like me where you feel lost and everything about you might seem mysterious to your own self. It might be like you’re caught in the eye of a tornado, everything is calm within, but it is blinding you at the same time. All you need at that point is some space. You just need to take the time to understand what you are going through and what your soul is calling for. You need to find your place of belonging or if you belong to the adventures to nowhere. It is not an easy phase to maneuver as there are surprisingly a lot of emotions accounting for what appears a placid phase. Multiple factors could make you sway in different directions but try to stay true to your heart and your own self because, in the end, that is going to matter the most.

There might be phases in your life when you might feel lonely and that is okay. Usually, the phases of being lost and being lonely come simultaneously. Just don’t let that feeling of loneliness dampen your spirits too much because as you sit at your desk thinking about your life, there might be someone who is remembering you for the right reasons, it might be a friend of yours just listening to music and a song that you suggested might be playing and they remember you with a smile on their face, or there might just be a random stranger passing by your place who thinks that your little plants on the balcony look beautiful. In a way, you are spreading your energy whether you choose to or not. It is unbelievable how you can affect someone else so deeply and never have any knowledge of it. So, make conscious efforts in building your habitat. It can lift you whenever necessary or someone else at their point of need.

There is beauty is in the way you hold yourself. It is in your self-acceptance. It is in the way you treat people and the way you love. I believe that we are all born with a tremendous desire to love. Also, just like we need some rest after a long day, we have to replenish our desire to give love by gifting some time and love for our own selves.

I love to stay up late at night. I think it is when I find the most peace. I feel like the energy I generate is the only one of the hour. My mind feels alive and the words flow. I write my heart out. At most times, it might not make sense as a story or as an essay. However, it would make sense to the experiences that I am going through, the decisions I would be required to make, and the changes in life that I would need to accept. I guess I find it easier to be kind and give love to myself in these late hours. How a little dip in temperature, under a blanket of darkness embedded with a bright moon, and twinkling stars can magically make one feel like everything shall be alright is just beyond my comprehension.

Google says, “Love is an intense feeling of deep affection.” If it could be so easily defined, how is it that so many people are still looking to find it? I think it is so much more than a deep affection and yet as simple as saving a seat for someone. However, more often than not, people do overlook the pleasures in the simplest of things. Remind yourself often to stay close to anything that makes you feel grateful for your existence and everything that makes you want to stay alive.

I think there are quite a few people in the world, who give a lot more love than they ever receive in their entire life. It’s not fair, is it? Because it’s beautiful to express love and it’s just a bit more beautiful to feel being loved. It’s wonderful to give love but healthy love does exist and it is definitely worth being patient for. Just don’t break yourself to give love to everyone else because no one might do it if you’re completely broken. I believe all of us are better versions of ourselves when we feel loved. The sources of that love could be different, but the desire to be accepted is common in all of our hearts.

Miracles are pretty rare on this planet but, I’d like to believe all the little moments that spark joy in a person’s life are absolute miracles. Each little spark you save in memory keeps building up a fire in your heart. Transform this fire spread its positive energy wherever you go, give love, add value to the places and lives you touch. It all happens so naturally when you’re honestly enjoying your existence, with a heart filled with love. Also, the people who tend to nurture your energy and help you walk through life being yourself will gravitate to you.

I came across this somewhere, “There exists certain gravity between hearts, hugs are when they are acting the strongest, and this attraction is the cause for the inkling to lean on to the shoulders of the people we love.” I think this is a beautiful perspective. I also think that as we fall in love with someone, the heart does swell with emotions, and probably makes the attraction a bit stronger.

Silence is something that comes from your heart. It’s similar to love in a way. It does not just mean that you’re not talking. It implies the calmness in your mind and that you’re not disturbed on the inside. Such calmness of the soul cannot be deterred even amidst the chaos of this utterly disturbed modern society. The wars of this world appear superficial, at times. The greed for money and power is growing like wildfire. The ones with the ideals of leading a peaceful life are made to feel guilty for not standing against the people acting out their greed. Is that fair?

On the other hand, be bold and be loud as you heal from the bruises in your heart. Anyone going through a healing process naturally isolates themselves; they just do not want to put their burden on someone else but, they are still looking to relate to someone who has gone through or is going through a similar phase. Not being able to connect with anyone during such dark times can be devastating. The knowledge that someone has beat their trauma and made it to the other side of darkness serves as a catalyst to one’s own healing process. So, tell the world as you heal, break your silence to keep them from drowning in their own. Put your process into words, works of art, or music and let the universe spin its magic and help empower the souls that need support.

Connections developed based on conversations about art, music, movies, literature, and life itself has the essence of unique beauty. We share with them a part of us that has no restrictions of realistic theories or concepts. In a conversation, we create a new version of a story that is defined in its parallel universe with its many parallel possibilities. We let our minds wander in a world created for just the two, hidden away from the rest of the universe.

In the current scenario, I feel like the world is so cruel. Sometimes, it is the world itself and sometimes it is just the people acting on their greed. Some souls are taken away too soon at times and I cannot comprehend how a creator could do that to his own creation. Was it too perfect to be in this space or was it imperfect? Should we be telling the creator to be kind to him/her own self and their creations maybe? This life does not make sense at times. I just wish I could write letters of kind words to everyone in the world and maybe it would ease their pain. I just wish to possess such potency of love to accept every soul as they are and be able to give them love. In the end, we are all just humans who are intoxicated by the idea that love and only love can help heal us, our planet, and our universe.

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Hey, guys! Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I hope you enjoyed it!

If we are meeting for the first time, I’m Nandha and it is wonderful to meet you. I just write what feels right from the bottom of my heart. Do drop a comment, if you think it was worthy of the few minutes or even if you have a question.

This one was particularly just a collection of my thoughts lately, barely woven together. I hope it made sense to you. It would be very much appreciated if you could let me know if you did connect to it.

Thank You!

Have a great day!