Closure

The year 2023 has been so very eventful for me. I have had the pleasure of meeting a few amazing people and making a friend in them. I have lost a few people as well. Bless them but I have outgrown their company and the thoughts they have to offer just like I have outgrown certain parts and thoughts of my own self. I missed and grieved for them and the parts of me that I have lost and I hope to grow and be a better version of myself at every opportunity I get.

I have learnt to better accept myself and others around me. This is probably a never-ending process but I’m grateful for my experiences and the lessons learnt. I’ve had my little victories; I have had miserable failures. I have been so very lovely to most people and I have not been so good to some. I went through days feeling like the most confident person on the planet, and I went through days feeling insecure about the ugly in me.

This year gave me abundant reasons to smile and a quite a few reasons to cry. I lost my reel role model in Matthew Perry (Chandler) but I also read the most exquisitely written book that I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading and found solace in its prose (The Heart asks Pleasure First by Karuna Ezara Parikh). I got to live in the seas again and fall in love with the moon’s mermaid daughter but it feels like she is as far as the moon herself and there are strong bridges or rocket-ships yet to be built to make this work (Spin-off of The Tale of Princess Kaguya maybe).

A few days I carried a mind as clear as the crystal waters of an aquifer, and on few other as murky and turbid as after a mighty waterfall. I achieved quite a few of my personal goals and I failed on some. I have made a few more and hopefully, I can carry the motivation forward and achieve those as much as I can in the upcoming year.

I have sat with friends, listened to the stories of their life, gave them a hug in times of joy and a shoulder to cry on in times of despair. I hope I have been there for them at times of absolute need and I hope I can continue to be. For each of my lovely people, have been there in different phases of my life, guiding and helping me through to becoming the very person I am today. I truly am grateful for them.

A few events that happened year, triggered the traumas of my past experiences and reminded me of my insecurities. It was important for me take a few slow days at such times and realise that my failures, my trauma or the scars that I carry from my previous experiences in life do not define me. And it is definitely not my fault if I have sometimes let it define and drive my life. It is also not wrong that I felt the need to be more than what these things reduced me to. I took time to make peace with these happenings and the feelings that came with it. I’m sure it will stay to be a part of me as there are important lessons learnt in those experiences. However, I shall never give it the power to define what I am because I am so much more.

I think with all that has happened this year, I have made my own self a reason for me to be happier and in a healthier state of mind. I have protected my peace of mind and let go of all that was affecting it. I have lived through newer experiences and taken in few more life lessons. I have found closure and I’m ready to let this year pass by. I’m already planning on making a few changes in my life to help myself be better. I’m happy to go with the flow but with conviction and clear intentions.

 

“To living a simple life, having a deeper personality and loving with all my heart.”

Spin your magic, 2024! We got this!

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Hey, guys! Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I hope you enjoyed it!

If we are meeting for the first time, I’m Nandhu/Nandha and it is wonderful to meet you. I just write what feels right from the bottom of my heart. Do drop a comment, if you think it was worthy of the few minutes or even if you have a question.