Pondering about life in 2020

“Life is not fair.”

I’ve said it. I’ve heard so many other people say it as well.

No, of course it’s not fair. Why do we need it to be?

If we require life to be fair to be happy, then we probably will never be happy. Expecting order in this chaos is not fair. How can we have such an expectation on the universe? It’s just a bunch of drifting matter. Why do we expect there to be a system just because we want there to be one?

There is no single cosmic force dealing out an equal amount of pain, suffering and happiness to all of us. We all lead different kinds of life and according to chance, we might be able to influence it, but we cannot control it.

Personally, I think I have learnt to see the advantages of both sides of the human experience, the good and the bad. If something bad happens to me, I get to learn, may it be a new perspective or a life lesson. And if something good happens to me, then I get to experience the joy of it. But either way, I’m growing, developing and having an awesome life. I’m either crafting myself to become a better human being or I’m enjoying the perks of existing in it all. So, the ups and downs of life to me look like a win-win. I don’t need everything to go well to appreciate being here. I believe that is a good standing point for a satisfying life.

I believe that there are a lot of people in our generation that live for the weekends. It really has to do a lot with our minds being drawn towards an escape routine. Let us rather explore ourselves and identify a hobby or a passion that we could practice and any point in life which would not depend on the availability of other people. Really connecting with oneself is honestly wonderful and when that happens, we are an endless source of fulfilment and happiness developing within

So many people say, we should party now, drink the alcohol now and try everything there is in the name of enjoyment now, irrespective of it them being injurious to our health both physically and mentally. “Age be damned”, they say. Apparently it’s better to have a fast and upbeat life than to have a slow and boring one. But the point is that, it’s not about whether or not we get to old age. It’s about whether or not we get to enjoy our old age. And that’s why we should eat healthy and avoid smoking and drinking too much. It’s why we should get involved in mindful activities and keep our brain engaged so that we preserve the intellectual part of us even when we get to the later parts of our life. We could still contribute significantly to the society and still enjoy our existence because every single drop of it is a gift, it is rare and it won’t last forever. We spend most of the universe’s existence when we are dead and gone. So, while we get to be here, we’d want to get every bit of enjoyment of it that we possibly can.

Personally, I do not understand the dating culture happening at present. I respect your opinion if you think it is actually functional and progressive. I’m sure it is, but maybe I can give you a little bit about my perspective of it. To me, love is when someone knows you and is addicted to you and can’t help but hangout with you. It is not when you impress them. I believe that impressing people is not something that would be functional if you’re looking to have an actual relationship. I believe a wonderful relationship takes root when you’re just yourself, and you find someone who just likes you as you are. That’s how you find someone to cuddle up each morning for years. That’s how you find you can trust in. That’s how you find something meaningful.

I think if someone is looking for a partner because there is a sort of void in their life, it is important to realize that people cannot fill it for you. If you are being lonely, it’s because you aren’t being enough for yourself and not because other people aren’t enough or are not being around you.

We should be looking to genuinely engage ourselves, take care of ourselves, and compliment ourselves. That is how we build a self that we can love. And if we become a person we are able to love, other people will naturally love us as well, passively. We do not have to go around trying to prove that we are worthy of it. We would not be desperate to get other people’s approval of being lovable. We would be able to feel loved as a default.

The best reason to get into a relationship is not because one has a gap in their life. The best reason to get into a relationship is because we have some love and time to give, in excess of what we give to ourselves, and when we find someone we can’t help but be around and they feel the same way. This will happen naturally.

Eventually, most of our issues with the world, the society, and the universe are because of the lack of a good connection with our own selves. It is important for us to be ourselves in the multiple facets of our life. Also, it is okay if we lack certain qualities and it is okay if we make mistakes. We have to accepting and accommodating of ourselves and other people. To be comfortable with one’s own thoughts is a beautiful and powerful thing. It really helps us identify the various cuts and crevices that we might have suffered in life and how they have been affecting the way we carry ourselves. It gives us the power to become better human beings and be accepting, kind, and loving of each other.

I believe the year 2020 has been a year for introspection. I think it has gifted us a lot of time to spend with the “silence” of our thoughts and get comfortable with them. I’m sure all of you have taken a lesson or two during this period. These are some of the things that I have been thinking about. I’d be happy to listen or read your perspectives and do let me know if you feel a difference from my perspectives. Always up for a constructive conversation!

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Hey, guys! Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I hope you enjoyed it!

If we are meeting for the first time, I’m Nandha and it is wonderful to meet you. I just write what feels right from the bottom of my heart. Do drop a comment, if you think it was worthy of the few minutes or even if you have a question.

Thank You!

Have a great day!